slow but surely.

Hello darkness my old friend... (2013)

I am horrible when it comes to expressing myself in words, let alone to be confident enough to express them by opinions in public.
Since i was young, i was thought to push everything down and deal with it quietly (like all Asians do lol). I grew up feeling like a rebel, struggling in the deep pond of emotions, unable to word out my thoughts.

Let's be real. I am a pessimist and I am comfortable with it. I am also a fucking shy person. I get fidgety and sweaty when people initiate conversations with me. Maybe i have a social anxiety? I'm not sure. But i would like to fix this!

I couldn't find a better time to face my fears till now ( like after 27 years?!). I came up with a list of things of actions to try and make my 2017 a year of self discovery and change.

(1). Making Vlogs - I know this might sound like i'm using my issues to just obtain attention from others. One thing for sure is that I am afraid of facing a camera for even just a second. I must be crazy to want to list this down but I want to experience vlogging as it is a good idea to keep a record of my journey as a freelance illustrator while also overcoming my shyness.

(2). Tutorials - I am not confident in my ability to provide tutorials. I tend to go off track during my lessons. Perhaps I should try a short tutorial to get things started.

(3). More Blogging - I want to be able to share more than just painting or freelancing. Perhaps i could try sharing my experience with food and skincare as well?

These are some of the things I can think of as of now. I'm being hopeful to stay brave, take more risks and most importantly for the best.

I'm looking forward to discover more about myself. To you who read this : Thank you for listening, being part of my slow journey. And to my future self : I hope you get your back fixed and please be kind to your self!

Watercolour supplies for beginners.

Hello everyone!

It has been a  while since I made a lenghty post about watercolour. For I am such a nerd for watercolours.

Choosing what to buy for watercolour can be a pain. Especially when there's too many choices to choose from. But it's okay because I'm going to show you a list of affordable items that you can get for a decent quality for watercolour painting.

Healing stones : Paitning study

Hello! 

Painting stones can be challenging but eventually it turned out enjoyable than I expected. I have a bad habit to rush things out. So to paint stones it can force me to take my pace slow and steady.

The red Rhodochrosite took me longer as i was struggling to get the red's vibrancy. 

Aquamarine

Rhodochrosite

Titanium quarts

Celestite

Celestite is my favourite stone to paint among all. just very therapeutic :D

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Food painting exercises

Hello to whoever is reading this post!.
I want to thank to you guys for hanging around from my absence . You see, I've been avoiding social media just to put more focus on painting stuffs that I have not painted yet. 

 For now I have a few that I personally liked.

crunchy bread

Doughnut with chocolate sauce filling on the center.

Portuguese tart.

Baguette.

...some pie? I painted this without any referemce so you can really see the mistakes here.

  

Pineapple bun/ Polo bun. Again without reference.
NOTE TO SELF: Always use references!

Although they weren't looking as what I expected them to be; instead of being so critical of myself  I'd be happy to know that I can be better next time. As an artist, I'd like to keep learning and never stay stagnant in one level.

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Litte corner of my so-called studio

Hello !! How are you?

I'm currently sipping my second cup of coffee with some cny cookies. 

Today I felt like sharing some snippets of my process and the little corner of my room which i claimed it as my studio .

 I have this fancy thing towards succulents and peonies as they're very complex and elegantly beautiful to paint. It's just that I felt like I lack of understanding of their forms. I find it difficult to picture how peonies look like. 

 This peony that i painted was self referenced. It was alright i think. More to improve! 

 Using waterbrush to paint was a little bit challenging. I cant really do the same technique as how I did with a brush. The waterbrush I am using is the Kuretake waterbrush that comes with this small palette I got last year. It is a pretty decent brush to paint with while you're out. But I am spoiled with my Cotman and Pro Arte brushes. ;)

And here comes the photos of my little corner.

 top shelf- where I store art materials I seldom used and tea and some candles.

 Right next to my laptop-  Some stuff i use everyday - earbuds, colour pens, calendar.

 My favourite quotes and the cliche " I believe I can do it" quote that help me keeping in focus.

 Every morning I make a To do list just to keep my thoughts together.

My favourite- tigger

If you want to see more photos of my 'studio' or more process photos of how I paint, do comment below!

I hope you have a great weekend! 

From Ashley 

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December favourites + my thoughts on 2015 and life updates.

      It is the 3rd week of 2016 and I have not wished you a Happy New Year. I apologise as this post took me awhile to express out my review for 2015. How time flies...it scares me a little.

1. Thosai
I think nothing beats a great supper at the Mamak. It has been my great memory back when I was in college. My all time favourite thosai is rawa thosai!

2. Eat your kimchi channel
I had no idea how it started, I was on a binge watching all their videos. I love dr.memeersworth!

3. Cafe hopping + cakes!!!
I love coffee as much as cakes. But I'm a picky eater because they don't come cheap. The best cakes I've ever tasted has to be from Jaslyn cakes and also Whisk Espresso Bar and Bake shop and the xmas special sweet potato pie (shown above) from The kitchen Table

4. Hairclips
They look really cute on my short haircut. Yes! I have really short hair now!

5. KOI watercolour brushes
I recently got into brush lettering. I like how fluid the brush goes while writing pretty words. KOI watercolour brushes are indeed a good start to try brush lettering! Grab these awesome sticks from Stickerrific!

6. colourful lights
Christmas is my all time favourite holiday. When there's Christmas there's always pretty decor and fancy lights. It just feel so cozy inside.

Read more on another lengthy post?

August Favourites 2015 + updates on life

I know this has been a very unexpected post. I've been away from the blogging scene for a few months now. My family is currently going through a tough time. My dad is currently hospitalised since the month of june. That's why I have not made any posts since then. I do face alot of ups and downs especially my doubts upon what i'm doing with my life. (let's not get too detail on that) 

But I'm keeping myself positive all times, read more books, eat well and exercise so I can keep my negativity away as possible.  

some stuff i really like for the month of august

1. Keep cup - my fav colour is green. so is the barista who intro this to me. we are happy campers.

2. Iced coffee - it's good for hot afternoons.

3. Kettle chips - Honey Dijon and sour cream and onion mm hmm

4. Key & Peele - my very fav esta  loco

5. Canon g7x 

6. Durians and lots of durians  - local durians are the best

7. W&N cotman brush size no.8 

8. W&N gold brown and rose opera - colours I've been using a lot lately

9. TED talk  - some vids i really love :
-.for introverts
-.for anyone who wanted to find their own style
-.be more mindful less distraction.


I'm trying my best to keep my blog alive as possible. I'll be posting up my sketches every now and then.

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Artist block - How did I cope with these monsters?

This post actually took longer than I expected. Probably it's my noob attempt to blog properly. Give me more time to practise this heh.

Every once a while these monsters can crawl up into you that possibly drains your passion out from your heart. Maybe after a project you just don't know what to do next, or having the self- doubt thoughts hitting in. or maybe you start to feel that you no longer enjoy what you're currently passionate about.  

I currently have this "artblock" moment since last week. Couldn't get good night sleep, having too many thoughts clogging up my mind. Usually my art blocks come and go naturally, when I am able to find new ideas to get inspired and such. 

But this time is different.This art block is too evil right in the core, which forces me to look in my underlying problems.

1) Making excuse to avoid the problem

I treat art blocks as a sign that I should ignore it and leave it till the day after. In this case this actually means me getting away from the problem itself. 

2) Self-doubts

 I draw because it makes me happy. But as I progress further, I'm pretty serious to produce more quality art to prep myself in becoming a indie illustrator. From there I unconsciously began to doubt myself that I can reach my ultimate goal. Well you know I think alot....

3) The wall
one of my greatest fears being the preverbial wall is in being able to move onwards and to adopt new changes to myself.

3) being a perfectionist 
This I am very surprised to find myself being so critical of the small irrelevant details. I'd say this is one of the main things that trigger the monster in me. I have my pride in my work and I take care of every details in it.

4) Being impatient
I'm pretty patient when it comes to painting but the irony is this - I disregard everything besides painting. I skip my everyday workout routines, I don't keep in touch with friends that often and I skip on my reading routine too. It's my terrible mistake to have this kind of habit. I got too into painting until it actually became a chore for me.


For some reason, I felt grateful to have this so called art block. It taught me to acknowledge myself more and give in to my terrible habits.

and now comes the bright side 'u'

I managed to come up a few ways to clear this monster out from my mind. Pretty simple but not easy for me actually, especially for a stubborn person like myself...

1) READ!!!!
Okay time for a confession - I never likes reading. Not until 3 years ago when I met a well-known artist whom I looked up to for gave me this advice and I still remember it very clearly - "never stop reading good books" she's my biggest inspiration that got me realize my inner passion to create art.

Reading helps me a lot! especially when it comes to biographical books. I like to wonder about their lives and imagine how it be if i'm in their shoes.


2) Sectioning your thoughts out.
This point here helped me alot. It is my natural habit to think haphazardly and that can mentally blow up my mind. Since i enjoy enjoy journaling , i try to write down my thoughts that my mind is thinking. And then I section them into categories which worries me alot. From there, I slowly write down a logical way to solve it.

Just an example of how I did mine ..

    problems                                                Solution

I'm scared to waste time                      make a priority list

I can't think on what to draw next         Read a book, relax and doodle etc

I cant find my style                      Keep practising, do not compare yourself with others.

3) deadlines
 I am very terrible at keeping self impose deadlines. I always end up procrastinating them. But recently i kept a discipline mindset to be serious on my own work, even if it's just a doodle. To make sure that I put my whole effort into something I dearly value of. Give yourself a reasonable deadline is also a good practice before you venture out to do freelance in future

4) Talk to someone
This is something that I'm most grateful of. Mind you I don't really have much friends to talk to. So to have someone to clearly direct my problems with is something really special to me. If you cant find anyone to talk out your problems with. I'm willing to listen :)

One of my experimental painting to get out from the monster in my head. Just splat colours and let it do its magic ;)

I do hope my tips can help you through this nasty monster out from you. I'm still learning day by day to be a better person. In fact I do think I have a lot more things to learn about myself.

I hope you have a great day ahead :)
Stay gold and keep hustlin'! 

Hsieying

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#Dear me - a letter to my younger self.

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